Week 3 of 16 begins in...
7 hours. I'm fucking ready. Lets get this over with. More later.
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Monday, September 8, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Girls & Bikes
Such a simple title for a spur of the moment post. I have some down time between class and work so the week is starting off better than what I thought. Considering that the last post I made yesterday makes it seem like I was not too hopeful.
All my life I've never biked specifically to go places. If anything it's one of those backseat hobbies I had as a teenager. I didn't learn how to ride a bike till I was about 13 or 14 I believe. Yes, that is late, but after watching an episode of Oprah where a lady didn't learn until she was in her forties - I figured it wasn't that bad to learn as late as I did. Riding a bike is fucking hard as shit. I still can't ride with no hands. I'm trying to get it right.
Fortunately, I haven't fallen...yet. There have been a couple close calls. One of the most annoying though sometimes good things about riding a bike on campus is the people traffic. People ultimately figure that I'm in a hurry. I am and then again I'm not. It becomes a hassle when you have to slow down so much that you can't balance yourself anymore. Sometimes I'll just get off and walk until traffic lightens up and then hop back on.
I did have a close call today. A girl kinda merged into the lane I was going to take in between her and another person. If I was a second late I would of hit one of them. Wouldn't you know? Time was on my side today. So they both got away unharmed. It was my fault though because I decided to finally get brave and start zooming past people at a moderately paced speed. This is why I usually bike really slow and sometimes stay behind people. I'd rather be late in the end than hurt someone.
So I finally got to where I was going. Parked my bike, walked inside and then low and behold!...
As I walked past the mini-bar-esque (similar to a bistro I guess) place I saw this girl that looked oddly familiar. Someone I had seen before? Yes. Had I talked to her before? No... But as I got a little closer I remember she was the one from over the summer. This was at a time before this blog was ever created. Back on my old journal, lost in the space of internet. Of a 5 week class we somewhat traded glances for the first week or two. We just about always sat across the room from each other. So it was very hard to talk to her. But there she was today, standing and waiting for a cup of something or other. Standing right by the stairs I was going to go up to get to class. So did I not talk to her? Didn't seem like a rational thing to do at the time. Seeing that I had just biked 1.2 miles and I was noticeable out of breath and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. On top of that, having a class on the 3rd floor wasn't the most lovely thing at all. But I was so stunned at the time.
I guess since I just dropped this story on you I should provide a little back story. I already said that we had the same class together. Everyday after class I would fight the courage up to go talk to her, but I never could. I failed everytime I tried. Some days felt like they were easier than others. Likewise for the opposite as well. To this day, I've never had someone affect me in such a profound way. It was almost utter nonsense to think of it. We never talked, but she could cloud my mind very easily. Day dreaming is so easy, but I would always stop myself short. After all, this girl just about had my heart, but we never said a word to each other.
I went so far as to text a good friend that I needed help talking to this girl. She gave great words of incouragement that were not enough to even make me budge. I also told another friend of mine, but wasn't really looking for advice. He would ask me how my days were going and what not.
Anyways, the last day came - finals. I finished a little ahead of her and had a final later that day so I decided to stick around in the lobby and wait for her to leave the room. She did, and right passed me. Sensing that my time was about to be up, I got up from the table I was sitting at and walked thru the door behind her. At this point, I felt stalkerish so I stopped as soon as I got out the door to the building. I left myself there. Watched her walk away and in my mind wished her good luck in life. And maybe, just maybe we would run into each other again. Something I was not counting on at all.
I later told my friend that asks me about all the things going on in my life. He didn't really understand. Felt like I should of just talked to her. I couldn't agree more... A mere week later for the second half of the summer semester I saw her walking on campus. As I passed her I felt this funny little feeling about life. How ironic it could be at times. I thought I would see her again that semester, but I never did.
And then the irony that fell right into my lap today. All I could think about in the next class was latitude, longitude, and this girl. Though, as I did walk upstairs I noticed she got her drink and walked quietly inside room 115. So there it is, now I know where she is every Tuesday and Thursday and at what time. Sadly, I'm only at the ESAT every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. All the more that when I ride my bike around campus I need to look people in the face. It may payoff one of these days.
On another note: I have a class project coming up where I have to make a short 3 to 5 minute movie with a partner. Just so happens I pick one of 3 girls in the class. And I pick one that is actually very cute. We didn't talk much and by god I never got her name either ha! But I fear for my grade now. She seems kinda ditzy and out-there. If you could see me now, I would be burying my face in my hands right now. The project is due in 3 weeks. Shit, I hope this goes by like a breeze. Possibly more on her later... I need to eat and possibly take a nap. Later.
All my life I've never biked specifically to go places. If anything it's one of those backseat hobbies I had as a teenager. I didn't learn how to ride a bike till I was about 13 or 14 I believe. Yes, that is late, but after watching an episode of Oprah where a lady didn't learn until she was in her forties - I figured it wasn't that bad to learn as late as I did. Riding a bike is fucking hard as shit. I still can't ride with no hands. I'm trying to get it right.
Fortunately, I haven't fallen...yet. There have been a couple close calls. One of the most annoying though sometimes good things about riding a bike on campus is the people traffic. People ultimately figure that I'm in a hurry. I am and then again I'm not. It becomes a hassle when you have to slow down so much that you can't balance yourself anymore. Sometimes I'll just get off and walk until traffic lightens up and then hop back on.
I did have a close call today. A girl kinda merged into the lane I was going to take in between her and another person. If I was a second late I would of hit one of them. Wouldn't you know? Time was on my side today. So they both got away unharmed. It was my fault though because I decided to finally get brave and start zooming past people at a moderately paced speed. This is why I usually bike really slow and sometimes stay behind people. I'd rather be late in the end than hurt someone.
So I finally got to where I was going. Parked my bike, walked inside and then low and behold!...
As I walked past the mini-bar-esque (similar to a bistro I guess) place I saw this girl that looked oddly familiar. Someone I had seen before? Yes. Had I talked to her before? No... But as I got a little closer I remember she was the one from over the summer. This was at a time before this blog was ever created. Back on my old journal, lost in the space of internet. Of a 5 week class we somewhat traded glances for the first week or two. We just about always sat across the room from each other. So it was very hard to talk to her. But there she was today, standing and waiting for a cup of something or other. Standing right by the stairs I was going to go up to get to class. So did I not talk to her? Didn't seem like a rational thing to do at the time. Seeing that I had just biked 1.2 miles and I was noticeable out of breath and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. On top of that, having a class on the 3rd floor wasn't the most lovely thing at all. But I was so stunned at the time.
I guess since I just dropped this story on you I should provide a little back story. I already said that we had the same class together. Everyday after class I would fight the courage up to go talk to her, but I never could. I failed everytime I tried. Some days felt like they were easier than others. Likewise for the opposite as well. To this day, I've never had someone affect me in such a profound way. It was almost utter nonsense to think of it. We never talked, but she could cloud my mind very easily. Day dreaming is so easy, but I would always stop myself short. After all, this girl just about had my heart, but we never said a word to each other.
I went so far as to text a good friend that I needed help talking to this girl. She gave great words of incouragement that were not enough to even make me budge. I also told another friend of mine, but wasn't really looking for advice. He would ask me how my days were going and what not.
Anyways, the last day came - finals. I finished a little ahead of her and had a final later that day so I decided to stick around in the lobby and wait for her to leave the room. She did, and right passed me. Sensing that my time was about to be up, I got up from the table I was sitting at and walked thru the door behind her. At this point, I felt stalkerish so I stopped as soon as I got out the door to the building. I left myself there. Watched her walk away and in my mind wished her good luck in life. And maybe, just maybe we would run into each other again. Something I was not counting on at all.
I later told my friend that asks me about all the things going on in my life. He didn't really understand. Felt like I should of just talked to her. I couldn't agree more... A mere week later for the second half of the summer semester I saw her walking on campus. As I passed her I felt this funny little feeling about life. How ironic it could be at times. I thought I would see her again that semester, but I never did.
And then the irony that fell right into my lap today. All I could think about in the next class was latitude, longitude, and this girl. Though, as I did walk upstairs I noticed she got her drink and walked quietly inside room 115. So there it is, now I know where she is every Tuesday and Thursday and at what time. Sadly, I'm only at the ESAT every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. All the more that when I ride my bike around campus I need to look people in the face. It may payoff one of these days.
On another note: I have a class project coming up where I have to make a short 3 to 5 minute movie with a partner. Just so happens I pick one of 3 girls in the class. And I pick one that is actually very cute. We didn't talk much and by god I never got her name either ha! But I fear for my grade now. She seems kinda ditzy and out-there. If you could see me now, I would be burying my face in my hands right now. The project is due in 3 weeks. Shit, I hope this goes by like a breeze. Possibly more on her later... I need to eat and possibly take a nap. Later.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Never Been So Sad To See You Leave
I used this past weekend as a quick relief. Something to do to get away from those 8 AM classes. I succeeded in the most part. Stayed up till 4 AM and slept in till 1 in the afternoon. Something I probably won't get to do again until Saturday night. Even then I'm going to try and go to sleep early if I can.
There has been an intense amount of pressure to wake up on time and get to the buildings on time. This is the last big push for my college experience. I'm not graduating anytime soon that's for sure. I need all these classes to get into my major. I have another 2 to 2 and a half years left probably. I'm trying to bank on 2 years.
I think my Father has taken me out to eat about 3 times this weekend. Everyday except for today and he later told me online that he was sorry he didn't feed me again today. I really didn't expect it, honestly. Once was more than enough. It was really the only time I left this place. I tried to spend as much time as possible sitting around doing nothing and relaxing. Because I know the next time all of this will stop will be after December 12th and even then life never stops.
I primarily wanted to catch up on laundry and I did. The basket is just about empty now. I fixed up the bathroom a little. I think I'm going to try and fix some other little things up on Thursday or Sunday. Or possible later knowing me. I noticed that I have Friday and Saturday off the week after next.
Finally, my ex-gf asks me about apartment deposits seeing as that I just moved out and we were living together at one point before a mental wall fell between us. I'm glad she's where she's at now. She lives with her sister and brother now in East Central Texas. Going to parties all the time and what not. She wasn't on long enough for me to ask if she had a job yet or how the classes and life were going. I loved her family to death and they were always so nice to me. Now, they could really all care less about me. When she came to get her furniture from the apartment back at the end of July she came up with her parents. They cleaned the place out - seeing as that all the furniture was just about hers except for the stuff in the bedroom. It was a welcomed sight and a sad setting seeing those people and all that stuff go. It all meant forward progess to me though. That I was moving on to bigger and better things. So it was very sad, yet at the same time it was a changing time for the better.
I wonder why it always happens in the end? I seem to peg myself with all these questions that I don't even know if they should even imply anything to me. Am I out running everyone and everything? So much so that I sit here alone in a city where I barely know anyone. Or do people just not like me, they just don't feel like staying around? Is it me? Is it them? Or is this just some cruel fate in my life at this point?
Everyone I know, every friend, has moved on. They all have new friends now. Some of them don't even talk to me anymore. Let alone they'll barely give me the time of day. It would be unfair to prosecute them. I'm the one that's probably pushed everyone away.
There has been an intense amount of pressure to wake up on time and get to the buildings on time. This is the last big push for my college experience. I'm not graduating anytime soon that's for sure. I need all these classes to get into my major. I have another 2 to 2 and a half years left probably. I'm trying to bank on 2 years.
I think my Father has taken me out to eat about 3 times this weekend. Everyday except for today and he later told me online that he was sorry he didn't feed me again today. I really didn't expect it, honestly. Once was more than enough. It was really the only time I left this place. I tried to spend as much time as possible sitting around doing nothing and relaxing. Because I know the next time all of this will stop will be after December 12th and even then life never stops.
I primarily wanted to catch up on laundry and I did. The basket is just about empty now. I fixed up the bathroom a little. I think I'm going to try and fix some other little things up on Thursday or Sunday. Or possible later knowing me. I noticed that I have Friday and Saturday off the week after next.
Finally, my ex-gf asks me about apartment deposits seeing as that I just moved out and we were living together at one point before a mental wall fell between us. I'm glad she's where she's at now. She lives with her sister and brother now in East Central Texas. Going to parties all the time and what not. She wasn't on long enough for me to ask if she had a job yet or how the classes and life were going. I loved her family to death and they were always so nice to me. Now, they could really all care less about me. When she came to get her furniture from the apartment back at the end of July she came up with her parents. They cleaned the place out - seeing as that all the furniture was just about hers except for the stuff in the bedroom. It was a welcomed sight and a sad setting seeing those people and all that stuff go. It all meant forward progess to me though. That I was moving on to bigger and better things. So it was very sad, yet at the same time it was a changing time for the better.
I wonder why it always happens in the end? I seem to peg myself with all these questions that I don't even know if they should even imply anything to me. Am I out running everyone and everything? So much so that I sit here alone in a city where I barely know anyone. Or do people just not like me, they just don't feel like staying around? Is it me? Is it them? Or is this just some cruel fate in my life at this point?
Everyone I know, every friend, has moved on. They all have new friends now. Some of them don't even talk to me anymore. Let alone they'll barely give me the time of day. It would be unfair to prosecute them. I'm the one that's probably pushed everyone away.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Connection
Two days in and feel like giving mercy. I think I'll be fine. Haven't done much outside of school and work the past 48 hours. That's just the way it'll have to be for now. If I ever want to get out of college I'm just going to have to get through some tough times.
At the start of every semester I usually wait about a half week to buy books. I'll scope out the prices and see if I can get cheaper or used books. Two of them were priced over a $100 and they're brand new. Luckily, I don't really need one right now, but I need the other one. They have these neat little plastic study sheet things too for like $5 a pop. Think I'll buy some of those too.
I finally get a day off. I worked 4 days straight from last Friday to this past Monday.
I wonder if people can hear my bass from inside this tiny old apartment? I don't even have it turned all the way up and plus I have it sitting right next to a wall. One of these days I'll run into one of my neighbors and ask 'em.
At the start of every semester I usually wait about a half week to buy books. I'll scope out the prices and see if I can get cheaper or used books. Two of them were priced over a $100 and they're brand new. Luckily, I don't really need one right now, but I need the other one. They have these neat little plastic study sheet things too for like $5 a pop. Think I'll buy some of those too.
I finally get a day off. I worked 4 days straight from last Friday to this past Monday.
I wonder if people can hear my bass from inside this tiny old apartment? I don't even have it turned all the way up and plus I have it sitting right next to a wall. One of these days I'll run into one of my neighbors and ask 'em.
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