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I guess this was bound to happen eventually. You know, where a political race becomes so heated that we tend to forget the politics and focus on the candidates skin color and/or personal gender. It's difficult for me to talk about this, seeing that I'm a white 23 year old male in America. Somehow I embody the perfect image of a male from America. Something I didn't really ask for and it's something I definitely don't agree with (that discussion is for another time).

I voted back in 2004. I won't deny it, I voted for Bush. Trust me, I'm not happy with how my vote came out. But at least I have the guts to sit here and tell you that I voted for him and not Kerry. After the old '04 election I decided that this time around it was time for me to pay more attention and make a more informed decision on this race. I don't think it's the race to end all races, but this is a pretty important time for about 300 million people living in one given area on the planet. It's having one man (or woman!) become a representative to our country. And so it begins...

I've grown up, I've been taught in public schools and there's this thing I notice. All presidents past and present have been old (except Kennedy I.M.O.) white males. So when the race started to boil up probably over a year ago I took notice that there was a somewhat young African American man and a woman running for president. I'll admit that this isn't the right way to think politically, but I thought this was great. I didn't even know their ideals and I was just about set on voting for one of them. I figured it was time for a change. I was sick and tired of seeing the same person of color and the same person of gender in the oval office. As time went on, I noticed that both people were making great representation of themselves and most of the time I was agreeing with that they were saying.

So, we all know the events that have unfolded over the past year. Obama essentially won out for the Democratic nomination and Clinton was left to flounder in the dust of the epic presidential race. Everyone loved them both so much that they wanted Obama to make her the Vice President for his nomination ticket. This didn't happen which to be honest was a good thing and a bad thing. Sadly, it infuriated Clinton followers so much that they decided they didn't even want to vote Obama. They would rather vote for someone else on the other party. Somone who embodies the things that Bush is and has done in the past 8 years to an extent. So here I am, on the outside looking in at all these people. All these able-bodied followers and I'm left wondering what are we voting for here?

Of all things that probably set this post off was when a fellow friend who attends the same college I do managed to post a status update on his facebook with this:

http://www.hillaryclintonforum.net/discussion/showthread.php?t=26179

As you may well know this is obviously a Hillary Clinton forum. (der..) What follows are some of this outmost, outright, dumest things I think anyone has ever said. Even worse, it's from the smarter sex - women (sorry dudes, it is true I believe). These so called devoute followers have obviously been so upset with the D.N.C. and Obama that they're willing to vote McCain just because he decided to go with Governor Palin for his V.P. candidate. So Hillary doesn't make the Democratic nomination so all the followers are going to go vote for another woman (who isn't running for the Presidential spot) on another party. A party and a person that Hillary would be running against. Oooooh, okay.

I don't get it. Woman are trying everything to get one woman into one of the two big chairs in D.C. To a certain degree I'm okay with that and I think it's great, BUT it just makes all these people look shallow and pardon me, dumb. Obviously these women (and probably some men) want nothing more than to get any woman into the office. So much so that they don't even care who she is. They would rather vote for someone who is pro-life than pro-choice? They're willing to switch and possibly risk the lives of others in this country just so we can get her in there.

Well, if that's what you want to do? Go ahead. Let's run down that road for another 4 more years. Oh! After all McCain is one who doesn't tend to run with the pack in the republican party. Bullshit! Obviously the republicans want it so bad that they're trying to trick the people of this country into another 4 more years. I smell bullshit.

Here's a stab at more people. This is to all those who don't want someone of inexperience in the white house. Those who won't vote for Obama because of this topic. News flash - what happened back in 2004. Our country was in post-terrorism attack and were in 2 wars. It was Bush v. Kerry. Now, if you're still pondering why this jackass (me) would vote for Bush it was because I felt that our country was in a fragile state. We needed someone who was going to finish what was started during their term. I believed he could fix it and I didn't want Kerry taking care of things he was never apart of. Okay, he was technically a part of it in some way, but still you know what I'm talking about. Well, 4 years later and look where we are. The country to me is almost in complete ruins and some of us are struggling to make it. Many men have died courageously in a war that should of never been fought, but was. Iraq was going to be dealt with eventually in my opinion. No one knew it was going to take this long.

So when you talk about not wanting someone inexperienced in the ring, look back to the past 4 years. How far have we gotten from 2004?

And then you have people like my Mother who insists on voting McCain. Which is by all means completely fine, but doesn't understand why Obama is so completely un-American. And then I think to myself. Wow, wait a minute, if he was so against us, wouldn't he not be here? It's outlandish to think. She claims he refuses to wear an American flag pinon his lapel and put his hand over his heart at the pledge of alligence and that he sides with the Muslims. I'm not going to really comment specifically on most of these situations because I would have to break all that into 5 different posts. Needless to say, he had an American flag pin on his jacket Thursday night. How would my mother explain that one?...

It's the underlying motives. Were voting for the political beliefs, but when we step into that booth and vote for Obama, secretly it will be because we don't want another white president. Or when we step in vote for McCain it will be because we don't want to see another woman get snubbed off the ballot like Elizabeth Dole and Hillary Clinton. We won't admit it, but that's what this has all become.

So maybe this is [in some non-literal way] the race to end all races. On November 4th, not only will the United States of America be watching it's biggest presidential race in history, but the rest of planet Earth will be as well. Lord knows the rest of the world ran around screaming their heads off when we voted Bush into a 2nd term.

As for me, I haven't delved deeper into the political nature of this race. I still think I need to be educated on what each person wants to do. For that matter, I think McCain looks like a great nomination for the republican party, but I think Obama does a great job as well. I think Palin is a great V.P. nomination for the republican party ticket. As for Biden, still trying to figure that guy out...

I feel like I just made a semi-racist/sexist post. Even though I didn't.

Connection

Two days in and feel like giving mercy. I think I'll be fine. Haven't done much outside of school and work the past 48 hours. That's just the way it'll have to be for now. If I ever want to get out of college I'm just going to have to get through some tough times.

At the start of every semester I usually wait about a half week to buy books. I'll scope out the prices and see if I can get cheaper or used books. Two of them were priced over a $100 and they're brand new. Luckily, I don't really need one right now, but I need the other one. They have these neat little plastic study sheet things too for like $5 a pop. Think I'll buy some of those too.

I finally get a day off. I worked 4 days straight from last Friday to this past Monday.

I wonder if people can hear my bass from inside this tiny old apartment? I don't even have it turned all the way up and plus I have it sitting right next to a wall. One of these days I'll run into one of my neighbors and ask 'em.

Urban Feel

I've made it to the new place. I feel like I've broken away from everything I've grown up with. That's a little hard for others to understand seeing that I've only had this thing for a month.

It isn't perfect. It's actually pretty small. I still have boxes all over the place and the carpet already needs to be vacuumed. I have ants which have now managed to overtake my laptop. The very laptop I'm typing on right now. I have a small feeling they might be crazy ants. They're super small that's for sure. I wouldn't trade a shower here for anything in the world. What a wonderful feeling from such a lonely little semi-dump apartment.

Nothing, but a bunch of guys around. I've seen very little in the female option around here. I know the guy above me, once he starts moving around. He really starts moving around a lot. Doesn't bother me at all.

This place is all me right now in my life. Small, dark, hole-in-the-wall.

The job, well, it has been a job to say the least. All the pretty rich people come in all the time and shop. Such a strange place to work. I'm making a lot of money out there so I'm trying to curb a meaning into liking it and not hating it.

For some reason I've been drawn to this girl that works in the electronics department. If I'm not mistaken she called my name out the first day I was on the floor. My name - "Hey, new kid!" I gawked at being called a new kid. That's almost too juvenile to an extent. But I look now I shrug at it. Do I really look that young from 20 feet away? Either way, when I zone (do my business work at the office) I'm usually right across from electronics. If I'm not mistaken either she looked my way a couple of times and I traded a glance back. Fortunate for us, we both got off at the same time. EXCEPT, I ended up having to stay 30 minutes late. Towards the end of my shift though I noticed she was walking around. She came over into the section I was working and kinda looked around. I didn't say anything, but whatever.

It's 3 AM and I'm tired now. Long day of pre-schooling tomorrow (today)

1253 - 83 - Wish I Could Talk To Her

Mother is in town now. Getting ready to do a lot of moving and apartment stuff until Saturday. She goes back home on Sunday and I go back to work Sunday night.

Got the job at Wal-mart, but I'll spare everyone the complaints for now. They'll be sure to follow, but when you're making over $9/hour - you can't help but keep your mouth shut (for a little while).

Something on the news about birth control and attraction now. I've heard this story for the 2nd time in the past couple of years. I'm starting to believe it now. Something about how B.C. affects the perception of a women's smell for the opposite sex. Sounds strange doesn't it?

I noticed I have collected 2 more flags on the side of the page. Good to see people from other countries visiting websites from around the world. Not sure why I added a flag counter to this page, but I'm glad I did now. Really wanted to see who visits these things and where from. I think those new flags are Netherlands and the U.K. Speaking of which, I was really diggin' those gray suits with the orange ties for the Olympic competitors for the Netherlands in the open ceremonies.

Speaking of the Olympics, still very pissed about the USA losing to Nigeria in futbol. Wish I could do something about it...

I should go to sleep now. I probably won't be back on until next Tuesday. It'll be awhile before I can get internet at the new place. Here's to hoping for great times.

I Remember Now.

But now it doesn't seem so grand like it did to me yesterday.

It was swimming in Houston, the summer, and the chlorine. The days I spent hanging out with my aunt(s) and their dogs and how I use to bank of going swimming in the pool at the apartment complex they would be living in. When I was little I use to remember that it felt like Houston went on forever. Almost to big to imagine. It was always sunny too. Of course, it should be when you go swimming.

I think I got caught up in the moment of it. Something reminded me of it and it seemed as if I could taste the air of Houston in the mid 1990's (which probably wasn't that great, but as compared to today) and I felt like I could feel the sun on my skin again.

All nice/cool/good/great things must come to an end though. Both of my aunt's ended up moving. They both now reside in the deep east of Texas. One of them ended up moving to Austin and Dallas in the mean time. Sometime before the end of the decade I think. It's not on occasion that I miss sorely, but it was like discovering a part of your life that you forgot at one time or another.

The sun is now in its evening position as it is casting a tan-yellow shadow along the walls of my living room. Not too bright, but enough to keep the room well lit. It is a comforting color.

Air

Is everything as small as we think it is? Is it even possible to think of the big picture, or have we been selling ourselves short all along? The brain has an amazing way of coming up with what seem like an infinite number of questions yet it falls so short in the answer category. So many ways, so many reasons.

Sometimes I wonder, 2 seconds before you die, do you figure out what the meaning of life is? The major human conquest is to figure out the answer to that lone question. At times, it's silly to say that I feel like I've found the answer to that question. Yet, every time I find a good answer, I find a better answer. Honestly, the way to figure out the meaning of life is to live a life. I don't think it can be put into words and I believe it takes a lifetime to figure it out. At 23, that would probably be my answer. How much can I bet myself that the answer will probably change when I'm 35?

I think we look for a more material answer though. Such as - God is the reason why we are here. Or science and its splendid world of biology put us here. All in all, quite possible. I wouldn't deny any of those answers. It is what it is, so on and so on.

I don't try and bend myself over it. There are too many feelings to feel and the world is a constant changing place. Today, I got a weird case of (somewhat) deja vu. I wish I can remember what it was specifically, but I can't put my finger on it. It was comforting because it was a thought I had not felt since I was a young kid. Going there felt amazing and new - and now it's gone. One of these nights I'll find it again. Here's to hoping it doesn't take another 23 years.

China Syndrome

So, I'm moving next week. I'm in the bloody mess of a job search. Can anything go right this month?

I called Verizon a couple of days ago....wait, actually I called them about a week ago and asked them if I could move my service to the new apartment. Through the whole 20 minute conversation we (me and the service rep) determine that it would be better for me to call the local rep and ask about service. Needless to say, the apartment address wouldn't show up on their records...at all! Fast forward about a week (2 days ago) and I call the guy to ask him about service in that area. He doesn't rightly know off hand and decides to call another man with Verizon to determine what the situation is. He says he'll call me right back. Wrong turn number one, he never calls back and it has been 2 days. He will either get a call tomorrow (pending on other things that will be mentioned later) or an email tonight. So I imagine that by the time I get this all fixed up I will have to sit around without media services for about 2 weeks... And that will go down very well.

Then I start to realize that something is up. I just got off the phone with the electric/water company. I need to turn the services on before the 11th and what not, I don't know. I tell the lady my new address (after being on hold for about 10 minutes) and she tells me that the address doesn't exist in their records. I'm spechless by now... I tell her that I'm going to have to get to the bottom of this and figure out just what is going on here. Which leads me to present time.

I'm starting to think that I'm going to need to contact the new apartment office and just ask them how the hell am I suppose to turn these services on?! A simple phone call will not suffice, so this must be a personal meeting at their office. I'm not going to savagely murder them (mentally) and demand that something be done. I just want to know, what the hell am I suppose to do?...

The pin mishap has technically been fixed. No one has contacted me since I fixed everything. In the mean time I have technically been offered a job as a service lot attendant at a car dealership. A lot more hours, a lot less pay - compared to the retail job. I'm also trying to gun for other jobs as well. Someones heart is going to get broken in the end. But, that's what all these fucking businesses get for fucking around and not hiring me right away and not paying me a lot and being complete jerks. Oh, and heads are going to roll.

And I Wonder...

found @ babibubebo.com

I would like to explore certain parts of the world and find locations like this. Not like it is all interesting to anyone other than me. I just think it's neat that there's a futbol pitch with a high rise next to it.

I don't like taking pictures from other sites, but on occasion I do it. Reminds me, I need to buy a camera already. I've been looking on and off again for the past 2 or 3 years.

Over the past 48 or so

Finally got offered a job. But, everytime I go to work at a major retailer I have to jump through hoops to get the job. I have no idea how I'm going to alter the application and change it since I don't even have a pin to access it. Whatever.

Happy August of 2008. The summer is almost over. Almost time to get back to work and not sit around all the time. It gets boring obviously. One more week of Biology with a test and a final. I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me a bit that the final is on a Friday instead of Thursday like it's suppose to be. Back ass retarded idea on someones part.. Almost time to move. I can't wait until things actually go through instead of being in mid-drift like they are now.

Time to call it an early night. I haven't showered in days probably and the triple digit heat is starting to get to me. It's suppose to be 104 on Monday. I'm going to try and make it to the bed tonight instead of falling short and ending up asleep on the living room floor. I don't want to have to stumble around at 6 A.M. again to get back into the bed.