...That I have all these things I need to type down, but they all usually get lost in translation throughout the day. One of these days I'll learn to carry a notebook with me.
As for tomorrow...er, today. Off to the Granada Theater to catch The Presets and Cut Copy. Can't wait. Gotta go to sleep now. What makes this all better is that the Granada is close to my old stomping grounds as a young child (being that from ages 5 to 7). One of these days you'll find out that I'm very hard-pressed to stay in one place. In a way that it doesn't happen much.
Don't expect much in the form of pictures seeing as....
1. I wear tight jeans making it hard to carry an old bulky camera.
2. I have a phone with a sorry camera on it w/o a usb cable.
So much to catch up on, so much to forget.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
No Subjecto Dos
I've been hesitant to type anything this week. I'm left wondering if people think that I've fallen off the face of the Earth? After awhile I seem to run across something like this - where so much has happened and is happening that I don't know where to start.
We finished editing on the documentary today for class. I'm not looking forward to showing it to everyone in class. I got to see another groups film that's in our class and I thought it was hilarious. Then I look at the film we did and I dunno. I asked her (my partner) if this was going to put people to sleep. She said no, so it shouldn't be that bad I hope.
Sorry for leaving off with that depressing note from the last post.
Since we're showing the film that means that my production class is a 3rd of the way done. We've been doing production in film and we move on to Video (Tv) production next week throughout the month of October. It should be a lot easier and less projects. Then it's on to Audio in November. I can't wait for that part of the class. Considering it's the main reason why I'm going into the RTVF program.
Week 5 of 16 is almost done. I've been impressed on how I've managed to keep up with all the classes. I'm struggling just a tad in Spanish which is frustrating since I made a B in that class last spring. Which should of been an A, but whatever. I feel like I'm really starting to fall behind in that class.
We finished editing on the documentary today for class. I'm not looking forward to showing it to everyone in class. I got to see another groups film that's in our class and I thought it was hilarious. Then I look at the film we did and I dunno. I asked her (my partner) if this was going to put people to sleep. She said no, so it shouldn't be that bad I hope.
Sorry for leaving off with that depressing note from the last post.
Since we're showing the film that means that my production class is a 3rd of the way done. We've been doing production in film and we move on to Video (Tv) production next week throughout the month of October. It should be a lot easier and less projects. Then it's on to Audio in November. I can't wait for that part of the class. Considering it's the main reason why I'm going into the RTVF program.
Week 5 of 16 is almost done. I've been impressed on how I've managed to keep up with all the classes. I'm struggling just a tad in Spanish which is frustrating since I made a B in that class last spring. Which should of been an A, but whatever. I feel like I'm really starting to fall behind in that class.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
We Haven't Completely Lost The Day
I've found out through simple math that I'm getting around 4 hours of sleep every night...That's not that great.
I'm not one to listen to older music. That being from about 3 to 5 decades ago, but ever since Richard Wright of Pink Floyd passed away this week I've been listening to a little more Pink Floyd. Not a lot, but more than I have in the past. It takes me back to 10th grade at McNeil. I was taking geometry at the time after barely passing Algebra the year before. Such a struggle for me as a young kid. I ended up failing geometry horribly (I think). I really can't remember that much about it. I do remember I ended up with a really low grade for one part of the course. But this is all beside the point...
I had a teacher named Mr. Stokes. Already, the name was enough to catch my attention since this was the height of The Strokes being a well known band. By god, I can't remember the name of The Stroke's first album..."Barely Legal"? This is also beside the point. I keep breaking away from what I'm trying to get to here.
When I walked into his class room he had this weird shit playing on a mini boom box in his class room. Eventually, someone got curious and asked, "What the hell are you playing on your stereo?" Pink Floyd. Specifically, "Dark Side of the Moon". I can only tell know because songs like "Great Gig In The Sky" stand out from the times that I was in that class room. I thought it was so strange and everyone else was a little weird-ed out by it. I look back at it now and it seemed like the coolest place in the school. A place I still hate to this day. I never picked up Pink Floyd from that class room. I disregarded it because it was too old to me, it was the past. It meant nothing to me and plus there was all this good music I was discovering at the time. Forgive me, I was probably about 15 or 16 at the time. I still don't listen to Pink Floyd that much and I'm still not that crazy about them, but it's good enough to pick up and give it a listen. Where as, back in the day, I would of liked nothing more than to stop listening to old music. By the way, you could tell that Stokes had made his way into the present at the time, but his hair was still from 1970.
Aside from that tangent into the past, I managed to sleep through my 11 AM class. At least I got up for the 8 AM one. Still, if you knew me, you would know that I hate to miss class. It's something I rarely do now. Funny to think that a mere 3 years ago I missed about 2 weeks worth of classes because I was severely depressed. But it all happens for a reason doesn't it?
I catch myself thinking about this decade a lot (2000-2009). How it is almost over and how so much has changed. So much more from the previous decade. This time 8 years ago I was living in Austin. At this time I was probably getting ready to finish up a day of my freshmen year. I can't remember what class I was in exactly at this time, but I remember getting out at 4:07 every day - 5 days a week.
8 years into the future, my days are a little different. I'm living in the DFW area and I'm in college. It's 3:40 PM and I have to go to work at 6:30 PM. I was living with my parents 8 years ago. Now, I'm on my own. I'm in a place where I barely know anyone. I would of never thought I would of gotten this far in life. I figured back then that my days were going to by numbered before 2005. Strange to think in a way they almost were.
8 years into the future it's 2016. I'm 31 years old now. It seems sad that my twenties are over, but I maintain that life isn't over for me yet. I've always been a late-bloomer so I think the best is still yet to come. I wonder if I'll have a kid by then? I wonder if I will continue my education? It does me no good to think about it. One of these days I'll wake up and it'll be 2016. Just like I woke up today and it was 2008.
I'm not one to listen to older music. That being from about 3 to 5 decades ago, but ever since Richard Wright of Pink Floyd passed away this week I've been listening to a little more Pink Floyd. Not a lot, but more than I have in the past. It takes me back to 10th grade at McNeil. I was taking geometry at the time after barely passing Algebra the year before. Such a struggle for me as a young kid. I ended up failing geometry horribly (I think). I really can't remember that much about it. I do remember I ended up with a really low grade for one part of the course. But this is all beside the point...
I had a teacher named Mr. Stokes. Already, the name was enough to catch my attention since this was the height of The Strokes being a well known band. By god, I can't remember the name of The Stroke's first album..."Barely Legal"? This is also beside the point. I keep breaking away from what I'm trying to get to here.
When I walked into his class room he had this weird shit playing on a mini boom box in his class room. Eventually, someone got curious and asked, "What the hell are you playing on your stereo?" Pink Floyd. Specifically, "Dark Side of the Moon". I can only tell know because songs like "Great Gig In The Sky" stand out from the times that I was in that class room. I thought it was so strange and everyone else was a little weird-ed out by it. I look back at it now and it seemed like the coolest place in the school. A place I still hate to this day. I never picked up Pink Floyd from that class room. I disregarded it because it was too old to me, it was the past. It meant nothing to me and plus there was all this good music I was discovering at the time. Forgive me, I was probably about 15 or 16 at the time. I still don't listen to Pink Floyd that much and I'm still not that crazy about them, but it's good enough to pick up and give it a listen. Where as, back in the day, I would of liked nothing more than to stop listening to old music. By the way, you could tell that Stokes had made his way into the present at the time, but his hair was still from 1970.
Aside from that tangent into the past, I managed to sleep through my 11 AM class. At least I got up for the 8 AM one. Still, if you knew me, you would know that I hate to miss class. It's something I rarely do now. Funny to think that a mere 3 years ago I missed about 2 weeks worth of classes because I was severely depressed. But it all happens for a reason doesn't it?
I catch myself thinking about this decade a lot (2000-2009). How it is almost over and how so much has changed. So much more from the previous decade. This time 8 years ago I was living in Austin. At this time I was probably getting ready to finish up a day of my freshmen year. I can't remember what class I was in exactly at this time, but I remember getting out at 4:07 every day - 5 days a week.
8 years into the future, my days are a little different. I'm living in the DFW area and I'm in college. It's 3:40 PM and I have to go to work at 6:30 PM. I was living with my parents 8 years ago. Now, I'm on my own. I'm in a place where I barely know anyone. I would of never thought I would of gotten this far in life. I figured back then that my days were going to by numbered before 2005. Strange to think in a way they almost were.
8 years into the future it's 2016. I'm 31 years old now. It seems sad that my twenties are over, but I maintain that life isn't over for me yet. I've always been a late-bloomer so I think the best is still yet to come. I wonder if I'll have a kid by then? I wonder if I will continue my education? It does me no good to think about it. One of these days I'll wake up and it'll be 2016. Just like I woke up today and it was 2008.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Eager
If you read my last post, you will be happy to know that somehow options 1 and 2 somehow happened to co-exist. Though I wish it was more of just the 2nd option than the first one, as stated in the last post.
Alive, but without power.
One of these days I'll make a Houston post. I like that place. I hope everyone in that area is okay. My two other friends made it out alive too.
Saturday prevails.
*Note: My parents and their house in Ganado are doing fine as well.
Alive, but without power.
One of these days I'll make a Houston post. I like that place. I hope everyone in that area is okay. My two other friends made it out alive too.
Saturday prevails.
*Note: My parents and their house in Ganado are doing fine as well.
Black Out Hour
I suffered a rare mental breakdown tonight. I know what set it off, just how is another story that has left my perplexed. I don't understand life, why something that affected me 3 years ago can still get me today.
Either way, I've sat here for the past 6 hours watching Tv mostly - Ike stuff. It's getting really repetitive now. Nothing new, nothing that great, and I think all the people I know are going to be more than just okay. Of course, as I type this, the eye hasn't even gotten to Houston yet......:walks away to put trash bag in garbage:...well, its gotten a little more interesting. They claim they had 110 mph winds at Galveston. Nature has an impressive way of accomplishing certain feats.
But as today went by, I was getting curious about my friends. For the first time I'm about to name drop. I had to give it up eventually. Matt and Corn, good friends of mine, live in Spring. Out of curiosity I was wondering if they were going to stay or not and they did. Don't blame them, but they are a little dumb haha! But my ex-girlfriend goes to University of Houston. We haven't been on good speaking terms and we have the same friends (er, kinda). We aren't on good speaking terms because of things over the summer. What it's about? That is another time, another day. I asked another friend who lives in Oklahoma right now about our friends in Houston. She said that my ex would probably end up going to San Marcos. Wrong.
She stayed in Houston for some odd reason. Probably because she's dumb (but she isn't). I worry about her so much. She doesn't know and I don't think she should. She told me she was in Houston in our conversation when I asked if she was in Austin. I asked if she was staying with others, "Yeah." -"That's good." I asked her about the text message I sent to her yesterday. She said she got it and read it. Just so happens she never responded to it. Like I said, we haven't been on good speaking terms as of late.
I was infuriated with her, but I didn't say anything. I imagine shes probably staying with her boyfriend. I didn't ask, I had no grounds to ask that question.
Houston's getting it's shit knocked from head to toe now....Take it bitch.
I hope the shit comes straight for Dallas, just for the hell of it.
I would be lying if I said the thought didn't stir up emotions that I had 3 years ago. Same old story, new year. If I saw him right now, I'd spit in his face and put my fist to his face. I don't care for him, obviously.
So, is it obvious? That I still have feelings for her? I can't believe it myself. Actually, I don't want to believe it. Because everyone I tell will shake their head and count me in the wrong. My friend in Oklahoma (her best friend) wouldn't understand for sure. Not to say that I have a few information aces up my sleeve just in case I wanna do some damage. But that's beside the point. I'm suppose to be over her. I'm not suppose to think about her anymore. She's 5 hours away and she moved on. But she's beene taunting me the past 3 years. I can't shake her. I've never known another person like her. It's also because of her that I highly doubt I can meet anyone better. She did me wrong though. Very wrong. Once again, another time and another place.
There's two parts to my feelings right now.
1. I hope Houston gets their shit knocked clear outta Southeast Texas. I hope that her place floods or that she has no electricity for 3 weeks.
2. I hope to God that she's okay and unhurt and that she can return to her life like this all didn't happen.
Number 2 would also be the one that wants to see her every second instead of once every 6 months to a year and a half as a drunken encounter. Someone who wishes she would just randomly show up at his door. I can't stress enough how 2 > 1. This is the reason why I'm not asleep right now.
If their is a God, please hear me - just this once. I don't ask for much. I just want her to be safe.
When I fall asleep tonight, I'll be sleeping next to her 5 hours away..
Either way, I've sat here for the past 6 hours watching Tv mostly - Ike stuff. It's getting really repetitive now. Nothing new, nothing that great, and I think all the people I know are going to be more than just okay. Of course, as I type this, the eye hasn't even gotten to Houston yet......:walks away to put trash bag in garbage:...well, its gotten a little more interesting. They claim they had 110 mph winds at Galveston. Nature has an impressive way of accomplishing certain feats.
But as today went by, I was getting curious about my friends. For the first time I'm about to name drop. I had to give it up eventually. Matt and Corn, good friends of mine, live in Spring. Out of curiosity I was wondering if they were going to stay or not and they did. Don't blame them, but they are a little dumb haha! But my ex-girlfriend goes to University of Houston. We haven't been on good speaking terms and we have the same friends (er, kinda). We aren't on good speaking terms because of things over the summer. What it's about? That is another time, another day. I asked another friend who lives in Oklahoma right now about our friends in Houston. She said that my ex would probably end up going to San Marcos. Wrong.
She stayed in Houston for some odd reason. Probably because she's dumb (but she isn't). I worry about her so much. She doesn't know and I don't think she should. She told me she was in Houston in our conversation when I asked if she was in Austin. I asked if she was staying with others, "Yeah." -"That's good." I asked her about the text message I sent to her yesterday. She said she got it and read it. Just so happens she never responded to it. Like I said, we haven't been on good speaking terms as of late.
I was infuriated with her, but I didn't say anything. I imagine shes probably staying with her boyfriend. I didn't ask, I had no grounds to ask that question.
Houston's getting it's shit knocked from head to toe now....Take it bitch.
I hope the shit comes straight for Dallas, just for the hell of it.
I would be lying if I said the thought didn't stir up emotions that I had 3 years ago. Same old story, new year. If I saw him right now, I'd spit in his face and put my fist to his face. I don't care for him, obviously.
So, is it obvious? That I still have feelings for her? I can't believe it myself. Actually, I don't want to believe it. Because everyone I tell will shake their head and count me in the wrong. My friend in Oklahoma (her best friend) wouldn't understand for sure. Not to say that I have a few information aces up my sleeve just in case I wanna do some damage. But that's beside the point. I'm suppose to be over her. I'm not suppose to think about her anymore. She's 5 hours away and she moved on. But she's beene taunting me the past 3 years. I can't shake her. I've never known another person like her. It's also because of her that I highly doubt I can meet anyone better. She did me wrong though. Very wrong. Once again, another time and another place.
There's two parts to my feelings right now.
1. I hope Houston gets their shit knocked clear outta Southeast Texas. I hope that her place floods or that she has no electricity for 3 weeks.
2. I hope to God that she's okay and unhurt and that she can return to her life like this all didn't happen.
Number 2 would also be the one that wants to see her every second instead of once every 6 months to a year and a half as a drunken encounter. Someone who wishes she would just randomly show up at his door. I can't stress enough how 2 > 1. This is the reason why I'm not asleep right now.
If their is a God, please hear me - just this once. I don't ask for much. I just want her to be safe.
When I fall asleep tonight, I'll be sleeping next to her 5 hours away..
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
No Subjecto 1
This has to be the kookiest month I have ever lived in and were only 10 days in. Actually, I can't remember if the whole Palin thing was last week or the week before, oh well. Still, we've managed to get a sense that the Earth might end, Texas will be hit by a major hurricane, and our President has gone trigger happy. On top of this, my world still turns. It's just been a busy week and I don't think it will really let up until Sunday possible...or December. Obviously I had enough time to sleep 5 hours this afternoon. That helps, you know, just wasted the entire day. Nice.
It's rained the whole fucking day. It rained all fucking day Tuesday and Monday night. It rained so much yesterday that I required a shower after class and before work. I had from 12:50 to 2:30 yesterday afternoon to fix something to eat and shower and rest. Needless to say, I didn't really get anything to eat. Plus after my little nap escapades today, I haven't eaten lunch either. I haven't had much in continuity of food in the past 48 hours. A piece of bread here, some goldfish there, finish the day off with a peanut butter sandwich. I'd like to use Sunday as a time to fix some decent food.
My family (that would be my Mother, Ste-father, Cat, and Dog) are probably going to evacuate on Thursday. Dunno when the damn thing is suppose to roll through. I am starting to worry now. If I didn't have a home here then it would probably be down in Ganado, Texas. Last time I checked, that was right smack-dab in the middle of the projected path.
Off to homework, sleep, class, and then work. Then class on Friday and another off night. Hooray!
It's rained the whole fucking day. It rained all fucking day Tuesday and Monday night. It rained so much yesterday that I required a shower after class and before work. I had from 12:50 to 2:30 yesterday afternoon to fix something to eat and shower and rest. Needless to say, I didn't really get anything to eat. Plus after my little nap escapades today, I haven't eaten lunch either. I haven't had much in continuity of food in the past 48 hours. A piece of bread here, some goldfish there, finish the day off with a peanut butter sandwich. I'd like to use Sunday as a time to fix some decent food.
My family (that would be my Mother, Ste-father, Cat, and Dog) are probably going to evacuate on Thursday. Dunno when the damn thing is suppose to roll through. I am starting to worry now. If I didn't have a home here then it would probably be down in Ganado, Texas. Last time I checked, that was right smack-dab in the middle of the projected path.
Off to homework, sleep, class, and then work. Then class on Friday and another off night. Hooray!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Wish Me Good Luck
Week 3 of 16 begins in...
7 hours. I'm fucking ready. Lets get this over with. More later.
7 hours. I'm fucking ready. Lets get this over with. More later.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I Have Never
The guy upstairs keeps banging around really loud. Like he's banging a hammer against the wall. Really doesn't bother me though. Well, I think I'm lying.
There's this great downfall in human life and what a body can take. For the longest time I've felt like I had the body of an 18 year old. After the past couple of days I've determined that's a lie.
And I think that's all I'm going to write for right now.
There's this great downfall in human life and what a body can take. For the longest time I've felt like I had the body of an 18 year old. After the past couple of days I've determined that's a lie.
And I think that's all I'm going to write for right now.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Girls & Bikes
Such a simple title for a spur of the moment post. I have some down time between class and work so the week is starting off better than what I thought. Considering that the last post I made yesterday makes it seem like I was not too hopeful.
All my life I've never biked specifically to go places. If anything it's one of those backseat hobbies I had as a teenager. I didn't learn how to ride a bike till I was about 13 or 14 I believe. Yes, that is late, but after watching an episode of Oprah where a lady didn't learn until she was in her forties - I figured it wasn't that bad to learn as late as I did. Riding a bike is fucking hard as shit. I still can't ride with no hands. I'm trying to get it right.
Fortunately, I haven't fallen...yet. There have been a couple close calls. One of the most annoying though sometimes good things about riding a bike on campus is the people traffic. People ultimately figure that I'm in a hurry. I am and then again I'm not. It becomes a hassle when you have to slow down so much that you can't balance yourself anymore. Sometimes I'll just get off and walk until traffic lightens up and then hop back on.
I did have a close call today. A girl kinda merged into the lane I was going to take in between her and another person. If I was a second late I would of hit one of them. Wouldn't you know? Time was on my side today. So they both got away unharmed. It was my fault though because I decided to finally get brave and start zooming past people at a moderately paced speed. This is why I usually bike really slow and sometimes stay behind people. I'd rather be late in the end than hurt someone.
So I finally got to where I was going. Parked my bike, walked inside and then low and behold!...
As I walked past the mini-bar-esque (similar to a bistro I guess) place I saw this girl that looked oddly familiar. Someone I had seen before? Yes. Had I talked to her before? No... But as I got a little closer I remember she was the one from over the summer. This was at a time before this blog was ever created. Back on my old journal, lost in the space of internet. Of a 5 week class we somewhat traded glances for the first week or two. We just about always sat across the room from each other. So it was very hard to talk to her. But there she was today, standing and waiting for a cup of something or other. Standing right by the stairs I was going to go up to get to class. So did I not talk to her? Didn't seem like a rational thing to do at the time. Seeing that I had just biked 1.2 miles and I was noticeable out of breath and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. On top of that, having a class on the 3rd floor wasn't the most lovely thing at all. But I was so stunned at the time.
I guess since I just dropped this story on you I should provide a little back story. I already said that we had the same class together. Everyday after class I would fight the courage up to go talk to her, but I never could. I failed everytime I tried. Some days felt like they were easier than others. Likewise for the opposite as well. To this day, I've never had someone affect me in such a profound way. It was almost utter nonsense to think of it. We never talked, but she could cloud my mind very easily. Day dreaming is so easy, but I would always stop myself short. After all, this girl just about had my heart, but we never said a word to each other.
I went so far as to text a good friend that I needed help talking to this girl. She gave great words of incouragement that were not enough to even make me budge. I also told another friend of mine, but wasn't really looking for advice. He would ask me how my days were going and what not.
Anyways, the last day came - finals. I finished a little ahead of her and had a final later that day so I decided to stick around in the lobby and wait for her to leave the room. She did, and right passed me. Sensing that my time was about to be up, I got up from the table I was sitting at and walked thru the door behind her. At this point, I felt stalkerish so I stopped as soon as I got out the door to the building. I left myself there. Watched her walk away and in my mind wished her good luck in life. And maybe, just maybe we would run into each other again. Something I was not counting on at all.
I later told my friend that asks me about all the things going on in my life. He didn't really understand. Felt like I should of just talked to her. I couldn't agree more... A mere week later for the second half of the summer semester I saw her walking on campus. As I passed her I felt this funny little feeling about life. How ironic it could be at times. I thought I would see her again that semester, but I never did.
And then the irony that fell right into my lap today. All I could think about in the next class was latitude, longitude, and this girl. Though, as I did walk upstairs I noticed she got her drink and walked quietly inside room 115. So there it is, now I know where she is every Tuesday and Thursday and at what time. Sadly, I'm only at the ESAT every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. All the more that when I ride my bike around campus I need to look people in the face. It may payoff one of these days.
On another note: I have a class project coming up where I have to make a short 3 to 5 minute movie with a partner. Just so happens I pick one of 3 girls in the class. And I pick one that is actually very cute. We didn't talk much and by god I never got her name either ha! But I fear for my grade now. She seems kinda ditzy and out-there. If you could see me now, I would be burying my face in my hands right now. The project is due in 3 weeks. Shit, I hope this goes by like a breeze. Possibly more on her later... I need to eat and possibly take a nap. Later.
All my life I've never biked specifically to go places. If anything it's one of those backseat hobbies I had as a teenager. I didn't learn how to ride a bike till I was about 13 or 14 I believe. Yes, that is late, but after watching an episode of Oprah where a lady didn't learn until she was in her forties - I figured it wasn't that bad to learn as late as I did. Riding a bike is fucking hard as shit. I still can't ride with no hands. I'm trying to get it right.
Fortunately, I haven't fallen...yet. There have been a couple close calls. One of the most annoying though sometimes good things about riding a bike on campus is the people traffic. People ultimately figure that I'm in a hurry. I am and then again I'm not. It becomes a hassle when you have to slow down so much that you can't balance yourself anymore. Sometimes I'll just get off and walk until traffic lightens up and then hop back on.
I did have a close call today. A girl kinda merged into the lane I was going to take in between her and another person. If I was a second late I would of hit one of them. Wouldn't you know? Time was on my side today. So they both got away unharmed. It was my fault though because I decided to finally get brave and start zooming past people at a moderately paced speed. This is why I usually bike really slow and sometimes stay behind people. I'd rather be late in the end than hurt someone.
So I finally got to where I was going. Parked my bike, walked inside and then low and behold!...
As I walked past the mini-bar-esque (similar to a bistro I guess) place I saw this girl that looked oddly familiar. Someone I had seen before? Yes. Had I talked to her before? No... But as I got a little closer I remember she was the one from over the summer. This was at a time before this blog was ever created. Back on my old journal, lost in the space of internet. Of a 5 week class we somewhat traded glances for the first week or two. We just about always sat across the room from each other. So it was very hard to talk to her. But there she was today, standing and waiting for a cup of something or other. Standing right by the stairs I was going to go up to get to class. So did I not talk to her? Didn't seem like a rational thing to do at the time. Seeing that I had just biked 1.2 miles and I was noticeable out of breath and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. On top of that, having a class on the 3rd floor wasn't the most lovely thing at all. But I was so stunned at the time.
I guess since I just dropped this story on you I should provide a little back story. I already said that we had the same class together. Everyday after class I would fight the courage up to go talk to her, but I never could. I failed everytime I tried. Some days felt like they were easier than others. Likewise for the opposite as well. To this day, I've never had someone affect me in such a profound way. It was almost utter nonsense to think of it. We never talked, but she could cloud my mind very easily. Day dreaming is so easy, but I would always stop myself short. After all, this girl just about had my heart, but we never said a word to each other.
I went so far as to text a good friend that I needed help talking to this girl. She gave great words of incouragement that were not enough to even make me budge. I also told another friend of mine, but wasn't really looking for advice. He would ask me how my days were going and what not.
Anyways, the last day came - finals. I finished a little ahead of her and had a final later that day so I decided to stick around in the lobby and wait for her to leave the room. She did, and right passed me. Sensing that my time was about to be up, I got up from the table I was sitting at and walked thru the door behind her. At this point, I felt stalkerish so I stopped as soon as I got out the door to the building. I left myself there. Watched her walk away and in my mind wished her good luck in life. And maybe, just maybe we would run into each other again. Something I was not counting on at all.
I later told my friend that asks me about all the things going on in my life. He didn't really understand. Felt like I should of just talked to her. I couldn't agree more... A mere week later for the second half of the summer semester I saw her walking on campus. As I passed her I felt this funny little feeling about life. How ironic it could be at times. I thought I would see her again that semester, but I never did.
And then the irony that fell right into my lap today. All I could think about in the next class was latitude, longitude, and this girl. Though, as I did walk upstairs I noticed she got her drink and walked quietly inside room 115. So there it is, now I know where she is every Tuesday and Thursday and at what time. Sadly, I'm only at the ESAT every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. All the more that when I ride my bike around campus I need to look people in the face. It may payoff one of these days.
On another note: I have a class project coming up where I have to make a short 3 to 5 minute movie with a partner. Just so happens I pick one of 3 girls in the class. And I pick one that is actually very cute. We didn't talk much and by god I never got her name either ha! But I fear for my grade now. She seems kinda ditzy and out-there. If you could see me now, I would be burying my face in my hands right now. The project is due in 3 weeks. Shit, I hope this goes by like a breeze. Possibly more on her later... I need to eat and possibly take a nap. Later.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Never Been So Sad To See You Leave
I used this past weekend as a quick relief. Something to do to get away from those 8 AM classes. I succeeded in the most part. Stayed up till 4 AM and slept in till 1 in the afternoon. Something I probably won't get to do again until Saturday night. Even then I'm going to try and go to sleep early if I can.
There has been an intense amount of pressure to wake up on time and get to the buildings on time. This is the last big push for my college experience. I'm not graduating anytime soon that's for sure. I need all these classes to get into my major. I have another 2 to 2 and a half years left probably. I'm trying to bank on 2 years.
I think my Father has taken me out to eat about 3 times this weekend. Everyday except for today and he later told me online that he was sorry he didn't feed me again today. I really didn't expect it, honestly. Once was more than enough. It was really the only time I left this place. I tried to spend as much time as possible sitting around doing nothing and relaxing. Because I know the next time all of this will stop will be after December 12th and even then life never stops.
I primarily wanted to catch up on laundry and I did. The basket is just about empty now. I fixed up the bathroom a little. I think I'm going to try and fix some other little things up on Thursday or Sunday. Or possible later knowing me. I noticed that I have Friday and Saturday off the week after next.
Finally, my ex-gf asks me about apartment deposits seeing as that I just moved out and we were living together at one point before a mental wall fell between us. I'm glad she's where she's at now. She lives with her sister and brother now in East Central Texas. Going to parties all the time and what not. She wasn't on long enough for me to ask if she had a job yet or how the classes and life were going. I loved her family to death and they were always so nice to me. Now, they could really all care less about me. When she came to get her furniture from the apartment back at the end of July she came up with her parents. They cleaned the place out - seeing as that all the furniture was just about hers except for the stuff in the bedroom. It was a welcomed sight and a sad setting seeing those people and all that stuff go. It all meant forward progess to me though. That I was moving on to bigger and better things. So it was very sad, yet at the same time it was a changing time for the better.
I wonder why it always happens in the end? I seem to peg myself with all these questions that I don't even know if they should even imply anything to me. Am I out running everyone and everything? So much so that I sit here alone in a city where I barely know anyone. Or do people just not like me, they just don't feel like staying around? Is it me? Is it them? Or is this just some cruel fate in my life at this point?
Everyone I know, every friend, has moved on. They all have new friends now. Some of them don't even talk to me anymore. Let alone they'll barely give me the time of day. It would be unfair to prosecute them. I'm the one that's probably pushed everyone away.
There has been an intense amount of pressure to wake up on time and get to the buildings on time. This is the last big push for my college experience. I'm not graduating anytime soon that's for sure. I need all these classes to get into my major. I have another 2 to 2 and a half years left probably. I'm trying to bank on 2 years.
I think my Father has taken me out to eat about 3 times this weekend. Everyday except for today and he later told me online that he was sorry he didn't feed me again today. I really didn't expect it, honestly. Once was more than enough. It was really the only time I left this place. I tried to spend as much time as possible sitting around doing nothing and relaxing. Because I know the next time all of this will stop will be after December 12th and even then life never stops.
I primarily wanted to catch up on laundry and I did. The basket is just about empty now. I fixed up the bathroom a little. I think I'm going to try and fix some other little things up on Thursday or Sunday. Or possible later knowing me. I noticed that I have Friday and Saturday off the week after next.
Finally, my ex-gf asks me about apartment deposits seeing as that I just moved out and we were living together at one point before a mental wall fell between us. I'm glad she's where she's at now. She lives with her sister and brother now in East Central Texas. Going to parties all the time and what not. She wasn't on long enough for me to ask if she had a job yet or how the classes and life were going. I loved her family to death and they were always so nice to me. Now, they could really all care less about me. When she came to get her furniture from the apartment back at the end of July she came up with her parents. They cleaned the place out - seeing as that all the furniture was just about hers except for the stuff in the bedroom. It was a welcomed sight and a sad setting seeing those people and all that stuff go. It all meant forward progess to me though. That I was moving on to bigger and better things. So it was very sad, yet at the same time it was a changing time for the better.
I wonder why it always happens in the end? I seem to peg myself with all these questions that I don't even know if they should even imply anything to me. Am I out running everyone and everything? So much so that I sit here alone in a city where I barely know anyone. Or do people just not like me, they just don't feel like staying around? Is it me? Is it them? Or is this just some cruel fate in my life at this point?
Everyone I know, every friend, has moved on. They all have new friends now. Some of them don't even talk to me anymore. Let alone they'll barely give me the time of day. It would be unfair to prosecute them. I'm the one that's probably pushed everyone away.
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