Never Been So Sad To See You Leave

I used this past weekend as a quick relief. Something to do to get away from those 8 AM classes. I succeeded in the most part. Stayed up till 4 AM and slept in till 1 in the afternoon. Something I probably won't get to do again until Saturday night. Even then I'm going to try and go to sleep early if I can.

There has been an intense amount of pressure to wake up on time and get to the buildings on time. This is the last big push for my college experience. I'm not graduating anytime soon that's for sure. I need all these classes to get into my major. I have another 2 to 2 and a half years left probably. I'm trying to bank on 2 years.

I think my Father has taken me out to eat about 3 times this weekend. Everyday except for today and he later told me online that he was sorry he didn't feed me again today. I really didn't expect it, honestly. Once was more than enough. It was really the only time I left this place. I tried to spend as much time as possible sitting around doing nothing and relaxing. Because I know the next time all of this will stop will be after December 12th and even then life never stops.

I primarily wanted to catch up on laundry and I did. The basket is just about empty now. I fixed up the bathroom a little. I think I'm going to try and fix some other little things up on Thursday or Sunday. Or possible later knowing me. I noticed that I have Friday and Saturday off the week after next.

Finally, my ex-gf asks me about apartment deposits seeing as that I just moved out and we were living together at one point before a mental wall fell between us. I'm glad she's where she's at now. She lives with her sister and brother now in East Central Texas. Going to parties all the time and what not. She wasn't on long enough for me to ask if she had a job yet or how the classes and life were going. I loved her family to death and they were always so nice to me. Now, they could really all care less about me. When she came to get her furniture from the apartment back at the end of July she came up with her parents. They cleaned the place out - seeing as that all the furniture was just about hers except for the stuff in the bedroom. It was a welcomed sight and a sad setting seeing those people and all that stuff go. It all meant forward progess to me though. That I was moving on to bigger and better things. So it was very sad, yet at the same time it was a changing time for the better.

I wonder why it always happens in the end? I seem to peg myself with all these questions that I don't even know if they should even imply anything to me. Am I out running everyone and everything? So much so that I sit here alone in a city where I barely know anyone. Or do people just not like me, they just don't feel like staying around? Is it me? Is it them? Or is this just some cruel fate in my life at this point?

Everyone I know, every friend, has moved on. They all have new friends now. Some of them don't even talk to me anymore. Let alone they'll barely give me the time of day. It would be unfair to prosecute them. I'm the one that's probably pushed everyone away.